Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while will be aware that I was looking at going with a Christian organisation abroad. For various reasons this is off the agenda at the moment (and possibly forever, but we shall see.) This has been causing my brain a few problems. Without going into details of the exact situation, it feels a bit like I did what I was told I should do in the past, and it went wrong, because of doing what I should in the past, I have to pay for it now, even though everyone says it’s fine, that’s not where their actions say. I’ve been struggling partly with feeling like I did what the church expected, how can I trust the church, and how does this relate to how I see God? Also have to re-think the what next question? A friend lent me a book which I read just over half of this morning. Called Moving Towards Emmaus, so far it has been very helpful, for me to sit and read that much of a book in one sitting is always a good sign. It looks at the concept that the disciples on the road to Emmaus were leaving because “they had hoped” but they had lost that hope and direction. It comments on the fact that as Christians we often jump to the renewed hope at the end, but forget to walk the journey of we had hoped, but have lost that hope.