Tag Archives: Value

what is important and why.


Here’s a question!?

Why does noone ever approach you at church and say “God told me to tell you you’ll not be healed, but I’m here to walk the journey with you”?

My friend had posted the above question on facebook. This set me pondering. Let me start by saying I believe in prayer, I belief that God has the power the heal, I also believe that God doesn’t always heal. On a simple level I believe that this is because in order to heal all situations where there is hurt he would have to remove free will, but this doesn’t mean that I don’t get frustrated with situations where he doesn’t heal.

Anyway back to the original questions, my immediate response is why would he? Now don’t get me wrong, my question is why would he need to? Should not our reaction automatically be, yes it would be amazing if God was to heal you, but right now you need somebody to walk this journey with you. I was reminded of the passage in Matthew (25 v 31-46) when Jesus said “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was ill and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.” He then goes on to say when we do this for others we are doing it for him. This is what he gave us the power to do every day. This is what we shouldn’t need a special instruction to do, but should just do, and I know it’s not easy, for either those we are walking with or ourselves, but that shouldn’t stop us doing it. I always think when I am praying, could I be the answer to my prayer? Should I be asking God for something that he has already answered, by giving me the resources/ knowledge/ friendship in this situation? None of this stops me praying for answers, for healing, for changes of situations and believing that God could step in supernaturally and change the situation, but I know that more often God’s answer isn’t no, but is answer is, here is the resources, the people you need to get through today.

Dice Games 1

This month I am taking part in a writing challenge. Each week there are six prompts, you role a dice to see which one you are to do. This week my prompt was “There was something decidedly odd about that child…”

Jane tried again to get through to Bill, it was just all so frustrating, she loved him dearly, knew how precious he was, but boy was it hard work sometimes. He lived in a world of his own. He knew who she was, but not in a way that other children did. No running up to her, and hugging her when she collected him from nursery. He usually didn’t mind being collected, but there was no joyful recognition that she saw in the other children when they were collected. As he grew, there was so much that she saw other parents enjoying, and she was missing out on. Bill didn’t really bable, there was no trying to work out words. He learnt one or two, but it was like he didn’t need them, like he was in a world that didn’t ever really coincide with the world of those around him. There was no comforting him if things weren’t how he thought they should be, he would jump up and down, and tantrum until things I hadn’t even noticed were put back. I thought his heart would break the day that we moved house.
Bill watched as he spun the spinning top, he could hear somebody say to the lady who made sure he had what he needed, “isn’t your son a little old to be playing with that, he’s what 9, 10?” I heard her reply “9, I know but he seems to love it.” Love was just another of those words I didn’t understand, I heard people using it, but didn’t understand it. I resumed my counting, the spinning top had now gone round25 times in the last minute. He knew it was a minute he has sat himself where he could see the clock, and time it, now to work out how fast it was going. Bill was happily doing the maths, when the lady who made sure he had what he needed came over and tried to take his hand, saying time for school now. Pulling away he continued working out, could he make it go faster, what was it’s top speed. Pushing the handle harder he set it spinning again. Maybe he should not start from a standing start. The lady who made sure he had what he needed, reached over and picked it up saying “Bill you can have it later, but it’s time for School.” Bill threw himself to the ground, and started hitting it. He knew what that word meant, School was that place where they made him join the dots up, put beads on strings, and other things which he found boring and could see no point to. If he was really good they would let him play with the sand. He loved the sand, the feel of it, the coolness, the sensation, just by running it through his hands he could tell if they had changed it.
Jane breathed a sigh of relief as she got Bill on the school bus, she was exhausted. So often it seemed like an uphill battle, it was an uphill battle. Most of the time it was like trudging uphill against the rain, but occasionally the sun comes out, and there is a marvellous view that makes it all worthwhile. Bills smile when something brought him joy, and often little things that she wouldn’t have noticed otherwise were what brought him joy. Just the other day he had been fascinated by a butterfly in the garden, it had made her stop and appreciate the beauty. Also Bill had made her see that having the “perfect” life with the “perfect” family wasn’t everything. She had learnt to appreciate what she had, live in the moment, not to worry so much what others thought.

Reasons to be cheerful part 3

The last two years I have, for want of a better word reviewed things that I have done for the previous year which I am glad to have done. (See posts here and here.) It’s a year since the last one so I’m looking back over the previous year. While reflecting the main thing I realised is that I am happier with who I am as a person. Life in the last year has definitely not worked out how I wanted it to, but I have far less regrets than I have in previous years. I think this is in part due to seeing the positive in what I have, and partly due to not being scared to push doors/ say what I think, so I’m not looking back wishing I had done things differently. I guess I know I did what I could to get the outcome I wanted, which I find makes it easier to accept the way life is.
The following is a selection of things from the last year that I am grateful for.
1) Completeing my second NanoWrimo novel
2) Having the opportunity to learn that I don’t like snow as much as I thought I did!
3) Wonderful friends
4) Completing Script Frenzy
5) Camping
6) “Sunrise” on the beach on the longest day of the year.
7) MacDonalds breakfast with 2 wonderful teenagers, 3 wonderful grown-ups and 3 delightful children. (We use to take the teenagers when they were little.)
8) Special children in my world
9) Finding a church that I love going to (something that I never thought would happen)
10) Twitter (surfing_madness)
11) Remembering my knitting skills
12) Learning to crochet
13) Being given the guardian for the 3 weeks of the tour de France.
14) Completing my post-graduate certificate
15) Getting a place to study Social Work
16) Finding a bible study/ house group which I feel comfortable in.
17) Heritage open day
18) My brother and sister-in-law.
19) My Dad’s randomness
20) Cake


Day 6 of the blog challenge and I am feeling less inspired.

Really you want what I have? You want the houses? The cars? The money? The luxury? You sure you want my life? Do you really want to look beyond the glamour and glitz? Do you want to look beyond the beautiful dresses, the make-up artists that make me look to everyone else beautiful? Well do you want to see what it is that you think you want? Do you want to never be able to leave the house without someone commenting on what you are wearing? To never know when your private life will stop being private? To have people believe lies about you? Is that really what you want?


I’m taking part in a 7 day blog challenge. Todays is inspired by a trip to New Lanark.

They all said it wouldn’t work, and more importantly it shouldn’t work, it couldn’t work. If others believed that it could work, who knows what might happen. It could change the world, but whose world would be better, not mine. Who cares if their world is better? They don’t matter; they are what we build society on, what we build our privilege on. They are what allow me to have what I deserve, I have to stop it, I cannot lose what I have. I have to stop it before it spreads, because an idea is the most dangerous thing I know.


We all have tough days but learning to survive them gives us the confidence we need to face the next one. I commented this to somebody the other day, and was reminded how much I need to hear that. Looking back makes us realise how much we have grown and learnt from past experiences, and that anything that is happening now is going to be added to our experience to deal with future life experiences. I don’t think this necessarily makes life in the future easier, we just realise that we have the ability to cope better with a great range of situations.

Hope and Reality

As long term readers of this blog will be aware I have an “interesting” relationship with church, having only recently for the first time started to look forward to church on a consistent basis. In church this morning I started to think about what it is about where I go at the moment that makes me love it, and what I should therefore look for when I move. Previously I might have talked about service styles, the music, what activities there were. Now however I can see what I appreciate, there is a feeling, especially in the prayers, of hope missed with reality. It’s not about praying that God will wave his magic wand and magically fix everything. Instead it is about praying to a God who will be there in the situation, will see the forgotten ones and stand with them in the pain, and hurt. The sermons I also appreciate, instead of feeling like it’s about making sure that all hear the gospel every week, it’s about treating us as grown ups, and helping us to think how we take steps in our faith, how it impacts on what we do. Not sure what I’ll find in the future but I want to hang on to that faith and the real world not being in conflict, but faith being what gets us through real life.


For various reasons I have been thinking about friendships, and the roles of friendships. I love having friends, and couldn’t imagine not having them in my life. They are vital to my world. I’m not particularly close to my family, not in a bad way but just in a geographical not much in common way. I however am becoming increasingly aware that due to being single, and the nature of the relationships, that I am very good at holding people at arms lengths, making sure that everybody only knows some of me. Being aware that I am never the most important person in anyones life, that someone else always comes first. I am trying to decide if this is a good or bad thing, because the flip side of this is that there is never anyone I have to put first. I often chose to put other people first, but at the end of the day I don’t have to do anything for anyone.
Yes I let some people know more about me than others, but even so, I chose how much people know. I guard myself to make sure that if people walked out my life tomorrow, it would be ok. I live my life so that I am always ok with it being just me. I rely on a group of friends to chat through deep stuff, and don’t get me wrong I do tell people lots of stuff, but I always have to know that I would be alright without them. That I can do anything I need without having to rely on others. I commented to a good friend a few months back (who due to distance I don’t see that often.) that she doesn’t ask how I am, and she commented to the effect, what’s the point, even if you are not alright you won’t let on. So how do I hold in tension the knowing that you can’t know how long anyone will be in your life, with being vulnerable, with being able to say help, and not have to prove that no matter what you can do it all by yourself?


How much do we let our friends shape us? Or are they just part of the refining process of who we are? I know I would be a different person if I had had different friends, but does this mean that I don’t know who I am as I only know who I am in relation to other people, or is it true “no man is an Island” and that we are defined by how we interact with others. How can we ever separate what makes us us, from our interactions with others, should we even want to? If I didn’t interact with others (apart from going completely up the wall) I would never learn who I am, it is only in my reactions to others that I learn about myself. It’s learning the difference between letting others form our opinions, and as we knock against each other refining the shape we already are through our interactions with them.

Jelly superpower?

Tonight I was out for a meal with my brother and sister in law, and I asked the question “If you had a super-power, what would be the point of being able to turn anything to jelly?” To which my brother straight away replied “You could turn a speeding bullet into jelly it wouldn’t hurt you.” We then went on to discus how useful turning things to jelly could be as a super-power. It reminded me that we often think things are useless, pointless or even a hindrance, but if we just thought differently we could see the potential of how yes it’s different answer to the problem than we were expecting, but it’s still a good answer.